Bill's Bulletin Board
By Bill Rea

Every now and then, something happens to remind me just what a swell guy I am (if you want to read positive comments about yourself in print, then you sometimes have to write them yourself).

A bit of explanation is in order, I guess.

I was driving in neighbouring Caledon last Wednesday when I came upon a fellow creature crossing the road, and not making a lot of time in the process. On the other hand, every school kid knows that turtles are not known for excessive speed.

That's right, it was a turtle. I'm not up enough on my turtle studies to offer many more comments. I know there are different varieties of turtles, such as the red-eared turtle, which I remember because we had two of them in my class when I was in the second grade. They were named Ian and Alice, and no, I don't know how or why I remember such garbage.

All I can say about this critter I encountered last week is it was about six inches in diameter. And since I'm not in the habit of frivolously killing my fellow living beings, I made sure I left plenty of space between car and turtle.

In June of this year, we ran a brief story based on a media release from the Ministry of Natural Resources (MNR), which asked motorists to be on the lookout for turtles crossing the roads. This was in the spring, of course, and the communication was prompted by the fact turtles would have been seeking nesting areas at the time, sometimes prompting them to cross roads and highways. Turtles are known for their protective shells, but one suspects they won't be able to hold up to two-ton automobiles.

The release also said the turtle population is at some risk, meaning the Ministry was anxious that their numbers not be further depleted. As well, we were told there is a law against intentionally killing a turtle, under the Fish and Wildlife Conservation Act, and violators could be looking at a fine of up to $25,000 for sending a turtle to meet its maker.

Finally, the release said it is permissible, provided it's safe to do so, to stop your car, get out and help a turtle cross the road. That little item popped into my head last Wednesday, as soon as I realized that indeed it was a turtle that I had just passed.

I also realized that I was maybe 100 yards from a red light, meaning I was going to have to stop anyway. There were no other vehicles in sight. Besides, I was a Boy Scout at one time, but I never offered my unsolicited services to helping a little old lady cross the street (I figure my mother wouldn't have counted). This turtle was about the best I could do.

I'm not in the habit of stopping to help animals get across the road. I work on the assumption that if a creature starts a journey, it's responsible for it's completion. But my memory of the note from MNR in June made me think again.

So I stopped, turned on the hazard lights, grabbed a pair of work gloves that I happened to have in the back seat (I was lucky, because they are normally kept in the garage) and stepped out to do my good deed for the day.

The object of the exercise evidently realized that someone was approaching, because its speed abruptly increased. Turtles can run, sort of, when they see someone is after them.

Since I am largely ignorant about turtles, I wasn't sure how this one was going to feel about being accosted on the road. I'm told that turtles don't bite, but I didn't know for sure, and I wasn't anxious to find out the hard way. That's one of the reasons I wore the work gloves. Had they not been handy, I'm not sure I would have wanted to pick this thing up with my bare hands.

That being said, I had to do a bit of chasing to catch up with my quarry.

How many of you out there can say that you have actually chased a turtle along a road? He honest!

By this time, I had a bit of an audience. A few cars were passing by, and the drivers had evidently seen the flashing lights of my vehicle, so everyone seemed to be approaching with a certain amount of caution. I even had a few motorists hang their heads out their windows, yelling out messages that I took to be complimentary.

I know I am not the only one who would stop a car to help a turtle in potential distress. A couple of years ago, I was driving up Keele Street, just out of King City, when I came upon a couple of men working with a great big one, helping it get across. Like me, they seemed a little reluctant to grab this monster (at least a couple of feet in diameter) with bare hands. They were using a piece of plywood to help it along its way. I was taking pictures of the scene.

On both occasions, we happened to be in a safe place to pull a car over and render the necessary assistance. Helping a little old turtle cross the road is not something I would want to try or recommend on Highway 400.

Actually, this isn't the first time I've stopped and got out of my car to remove objects from the road. And safety permitting, I think it's something most people should consider. I can't count the number of times, like on windy days, when I've come across a garbage pail sitting in the middle of a road, especially a major road like King Road. I've seen lots of drivers just go around these things, and take off on their merry way. But to me, and obstruction is still an obstruction, so if I can, I try to get it off the road, putting it in a ditch if possible, where the wind seems unlikely to toss it anywhere.

I always have figured that's the right thing to do. Even if MNR doesn't have a position on creaming garbage cans with a car, I do.