Bill's Bulletin Board
By Bill Rea

I freely admit that I am not a fashion plate, I never have been a fashion plate and I have no desire to be a fashion plate.

I doubt the above admission will come as a great shock to anyone who really knows me.

I hate shopping for clothes, and do so as seldom as possible. Thus I tend to wear out the clothes that I have, or at least the ones I like to wear. When I do go shopping, I tend to take excessive pains checking out the price tags, and even more excessive pains getting the task over with and getting out of whatever store I happen to be in as quickly as possible so I can get on with other things in my life.

And I hate trying on clothes even more than I hate shopping for them. In fact, that is something I have always hated, from the days my mother would buy me the most hideous-looking stuff (any man who remembers some of the clothes his mother bought for him when he was a boy will know exactly where I'm coming from) for school. And it continues to this day.

So that is a partial explanation of why you'll never see my name on the list of the 10 best-dressed men anywhere. But with my charm, who notices?

On the other hand, styles of dress have changed a lot over the years, to the point is I wouldn't know what's in and what's out these days (not that I ever would, you understand).

My wife and I received a little lesson in that not too long ago.

We were out for dinner at a restaurant bearing a well-deserved positive reputation; the type of place where one usually goes for a special occasion, and for Beth and I, that was sort of the case.

A party was shown to a table near ours. Beth shot a quick glance over the four people as they passed our table, then leaned over to me and softly whispered her concerns that her attire might not be "chic" enough for the current surroundings.

Now whether or not one is appropriately dressed depends a lot on where one is. For example, had my wife been at the Academy Awards ceremonies last week, I would have ventured that her attire at dinner that evening would have been a little out of step, although I invariably would have looked worse. But that was a hypothetical. Considering the reality of the dining establishment we were in, I thought she was measuring up well in all respects, including her apparel, and I told her as much (that's what I meant about charm).

But it got me to thinking about the way I was dressed, compared with the other men in the room, and I think I was more or less in step, provided no one delved too deeply into matters of quality. The interesting thing is there were about a dozen men in the room, and not a tie to be seen. One of those clear indication that times have indeed changed.

There was a time that a man would not have thought of entering such an establishment without at least a jacket and tie. There were a couple of men in jackets (not me), but that's as far as the fancy attire went.

Remember the times when some establishments wouldn't let men in unless they were wearing a tie? I once heard there was a place in Toronto that had a supply of ties available for rent or sale in case some guy forgot his. I also recall one reputed place in the big smoke that faced a major public stink because it turned away a lad in his Boy Scout uniform because the accompanying neckerchief didn't measure up to standards in the eyes of whoever was calling the shots.

There are lots of places where one used to see ties regularly, but not much any more. We used to hear about people dressing in "their Sunday best," evidently referring to what they would wear to church. I get to church now and then, and few are the men who wear ties now. Who would have thunk it in our parents' day?

Schools are another example, at least among the male teachers. When I was in elementary school, you wouldn't ever see one without a tie. Things were a bit more relaxed in high school. The older, stuffy guys always wore ties, while the younger and hipper ones seldom bothered. Fact is it never seemed to affect my marks much.

As with most things where clothes are concerned, I seem to be some distance from being in style. I normally wear a tie to work, at least during the week (Tuesdays are often an exception because that's production day for the paper). I don't know why I do it. I just do, and have since I've been working.

So I figure if I wear a tie, it must be out of style by some standard.

Coincidentally, I came upon an item on the internet last week entitled 10 Crimes of Work Fashion. It seems I'm not as bad as even I thought, at least according to Laura Morsch, a writer for CareerBuilder.com

A couple of these items on the list were gender specific, such as showing too much cleavage. You all have my permission to say something if you ever catch me doing that.

There are some of these sins of which I am not guilty, such as wearing poor-fitting clothing. The stuff I wear may look like hell, but it fits, sort of. I also try to set articles aside if they're torn or excessively dirty, although at this time of year, it's hard to keep clothes spotless. It's also a crime to wear too much perfume or cologne. I never touch the stuff. I'm also not supposed to wear shorts to the office and I never do, especially in winter.

But there are some of these crimes I do commit, like going too long between haircuts and beard trims. Actually, Morsch would probably argue I should lose the whiskers. I've had them for almost 20 years, and I plan to keep them for a while.

Even a slob like me is entitled to some indulgence.